Food: Consoling Even the Worst of Worry-warts

Mmmm. Bagels.

They don't have them in Italy. Quite frankly, they don't need them in Italy; their stock of baked goods, pastries, and delectable treats could eradicate hunger in Haiti.

But still. Bagels.

The cure for depression, cibophobia, and frustration? Very likely. This breakfast food is liable to rid you of those Monday blues. Try a wheat bagel toasted with cinnamon rasin cream cheese. Remain in awe while your taste buds experience ecstasy like never before.

This particular Monday ended with the aforementioned statement. What a terrible blow to your academic self-esteem when, after a week's painstaking preparation, an Astronomy test does not go according to plan!

Sure. This occurrence does not mark the apocalypse or a permanent, heart-breaking change in your GPA; yet you muse about what might have happened had your handy-dandy calculator been by your side.

You also wonder what might happen if you stopped observing human behavior.

Consider the following: You see someone with whom you have recently been acquainted. You're walking toward one another. Suddenly, you are met with a debacle: do you say hello, meet his/her eyes, stop and chat, high-five, hug, or wave?

So many options present themselves within those 5 seconds.

You say hello: the receiver takes no notice and proceeds onward, while you are left feeling either indifferent or ignored (more precisely, decidedly stupid).

You meet his/her eyes: this action lasts a mind-blowing second, and then you're on your way to class.

You stop and chat: "Hello!" "Hey, how are you?" "I'm good, you?"... But you are still walking away and are out of proper ear-shot to respond...

You attempt a high-five: let's be serious, this rarely happens unless you are more acquainted with the subject.

You hug: how sweet, and cute, but is it one of those half-ass hugs, or squeezing-the-life-out-of-your-lungs hugs?

You wave: a pretty conventional decision you've just made! Simple, quick, and liable to receive the attention of the other, depending upon the vigor with which you gesture.

But why worry about human behavior when you could simply enjoy a heavy snack?

Mmm. Bagels.